Phonics wouldn't have been replaced by Whole language 60 years ago, If it had been the best English Teaching Method

Jokes by Wrong Pronunciation in English

It is an world problem to read English without checking the International Phonetic Symbols (IPS). There are lots of jokes produced by nonstandard English pronunciation. Here I collected some jokes on that. Reading these jokes, you couldn¡¯t help laughing out. The laugher will stimulate your interest in learning and help you to master the standard English sounds as well as English sentences. Your spoken English will improve gradually by it. ¡®Nursing a flower with heart and soul, but it does not blossom. Planting a willow unintentionally, but it grows in adumbral. ¡®The students who are suffering from the Whole Language should give it up early and adopt the SEV.ENG as soon as possible.

[ou] [ue]
In 2000, Eight Countries¡¯ Leaders Conference was held a in Okinawa, Japan. When the Japanese premier Yoshiro Mori met American president Clinton, he greeted him actively in English: ¡®How are you£¿¡¯ Because of Mori nonstandard pronunciation, he confused the compound vowel [ou] and simple vowel [ue], that is he said ¡®Who are you?¡¯ instead of ¡®How are you?¡¯ Clinton was surprised by hearing that and wondered why Mori asked him such a question. He then answered humorously ¡®I am Hillary¡¯s husband¡¯ Mori didn¡¯t understand what Clinton said. He thought of the words his teacher told him---after you said ¡®how are you?¡¯ the other part would answered ¡®I am fine. Thank you, and you? Then you could say ¡®Me too¡¯. Then Mori said to Clinton with a full smile ¡®Me too¡¯. Clinton astonished and wondered how could Mori said he was also Hillary¡¯s husband. He stopped talking to Mori immediately and turned away from the reporters.
This joke is spread all over the world, which stained the image of premier Mori and imperiled the interests of Japan. The students who are taught by the Whole Language will produce lots of jokes similar to that. We can see from that joke: it is a must to master standard pronunciation if you want to speak to others. It is vital to distinguish the differences between English phoneme and mandarin pinyin, or even though you have remembered lots of words and your spoken English is so fluent, the foreigners can't understand you and it is hard to communicate.

[u] [ue]
Once a foreign guest Mr. Frank was visiting a pretty famous scenic spot in China and he enjoyed it so much. After the visiting, Frank invited Mr. Li for a meal who was a Chinese and accompanied him. After eating for a while, Mr. Frank asked Mr. Li in English: ¡®would you care for some more? Mr. Li answered in English: No, thanks I'm full. But Mr. Li's pronunciation was not correct. He said long vowel [ue] instead of short vowel [u], that is he said: ¡®I'm fool¡¯ instead of ¡®I'm full¡¯, which made that foreign guest laugh aloud and the laughter confused Mr. Li.

There were Beijing operas being played in a Chinese theater and it had been full. A foreign guest who spoke English liked Beijing opera very much wanted to watch the plays. The gatekeeper knew a little English, knowing there was no seat inside, then he stopped that foreigner at the door and said: ¡®Sorry, full¡¯. Because of that gatekeeper's poor pronunciation, he mixed the short vowel [u] and long vowel [ue] and he said: ¡®Sorry, fool¡¯. The foreigner was very angry by hearing the gatekeeper¡¯s damning words. He wondered; ¡®could a person be called a fool just because he is late?¡¯

[i] [ee] A Chinese and a foreigner were competing in a martial art contest and the foreigner won. The Chinese contestant said to his master: ¡®He beat me in the game¡¯, but he said the long vowel [ee] instead of short vowel [i], that is he said£º¡¯He bit me in the game.¡¯ instead of ¡®He beat me in the game.¡¯ The master criticized that foreigner: ¡®it is not right to bite others in the contest¡¯, which made that foreigner fell pretty wronged.

[ere] [are]
An English man, Mr. Blake, felt thirsty and tired when he was visiting the Great Wall in Beijing. At that moment, he heard that the guide suggested they should go to the beer house. Mr. Blake was full of gratitude thinking of drinking beer soon, but at last, the guide took him to the bear house to see the bears¡¯ performances, which really disappointed Mr. Blake. It is all because the guide said beer[bere] instead of bear[bare] by mistake.

[ae] [ie]
Once£¬a foreign student who was learning in America asked for a leave to see the doctor to his teacher. He said: ¡® I'm going to the hos'pital today'. Because of his bad pronunciation, he confused the [ae] and [ie]. In fact, he said:I'm going to the hospital to die¡¯ instead of ¡®I"m going to the hos'pital today', which scared the teach so much.
[ae] [a]
In the spring, 2000, an Ireland girl, Lisa, visited in Beijing with her mother. To try if she was brave enough to eat the snake, Lisa took her mother to a pretty renowned restaurant and ordered a dish of snake. When her mother was praising her for her braveness to eat snake, the waiter served them a dish of black cake, which made them feel embarrassing and amusing at the same time. It is all because of the waiter's poor listening, he thought Lisa said ¡®snack¡¯[snak] not ¡®snake¡¯[snaek].

[o] [ou]
A Frenchman who was visiting in the UK got a cough one day. He coughed badly and had to go to the pharmacy to buy some antitussive. Because of his poor pronunciation, he said cow[kou] instead of cough[kof], which produced the following dialogue.
I hav'e a ve'ry bad cow. Could I buy som'e med'icine for my cow?
The shop assistant was surprised and then he asked:What's wrong with your cow?
The Frenchman answered:It does'n"t make me fall aslee'p.
She shop assistant felt more surprised and asked:Where is your cow?
The Frenchman answered:It is in my throat.
The shop assistant was at a loss and asked:How can you put the big cow in your throat?

[n] [l]
A Chinese youngster who was gong to study in America just arrived there. He lodged in an old American man's house. One day, the youngster wanted to borrow a knife from the house lord to cut a stick. Then he held that stick and hurried to the house lord. He said: ¡®I want your knife¡¯. Because of his wrong pronunciation, he said: ¡®I want your life¡¯. After hearing that and seeing his holding stick, the old man nearly fainted by being scared.

[th] [d]
The Germans can hardly pronounce [th] correctly. Once a German couple went to America, when he answered his age, he pronounced the [d] instead of [th] in the word thirty by mistake, that is he said: ¡®I'm dirty, my wife is dirty too.¡¯ Instead of ¡®I"m thirty, my wife is thirty too¡¯.
 

Phoneme Letter and International Phonetic Symbols cross tabulation

International Phonetic SymbolsPhoneme Letter ExamplesInternational Phonetic SymbolsPhoneme Letter ExamplesInternational Phonetic SymbolsPhoneme Letter Examples
[i:][ee]bee[p][p]pen[b][b]bike
[i][i]it[t][t]take[d][d]deep
[e][e]red[k][k]keep[g][g]gate
[(][a]map[f][f]fat[v][v]vote
[a:][ar]part[(][sh]shop[(][z]az'ure
[(][u]but[s][s]seem[z][z]zone
[(][o]not[(][th]thin[(][th]this
[(:][or]pork[h][h]home[r][r]rich
[[u][u]push[t(][ch]chart[d(][j]job
[u:][ue]true[ts][ts]its[dz][ds]beds
[[][a.]Chi'na[tr][tr]trade[dr][dr]drive
[[:][er]her[m][m]meet[n][n]name
[ei][ae]tael[(][ng]long[l][l]late
[ai][ie]die[w][w]week[j][y]yes
[(i][oi]oilNote:
1. Phoneme Letter are the common use pronunciation rules. You could read 50 percent words after learn them.
2. Vowel is a short vowel when it is a single letter; but two letters is long vowel.
3. ¡°_¡± show the letters are the second kind of pronunciation. We often say it second pronunciation.
4. ¡°¡¯¡± show it is the accent mark and before it the vowel is stress syllable.
5. ¡°`¡± show it is the secondary accent symbol and before it the vowel is secondary stress syllable.
6. ¡°. ¡± show it is the light accent symbol and before it the vowel is light stress syllable.
[(u][oe]hoe
[au][ou]out
[i(][ere]here
[e(][are]dare
[u(][ure]jur'y
[ju:][ue]due
[ju(][ure]pure

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